This past Sunday it struck me. As much as people like to make fun of nerds (even other nerds) the large majority of Americans are a special kind of previously unclassified nerd: Football Nerds. No doubt, in America football is king. Witness the number of jerseys you will see anywhere on Sunday. Witness the fact that you can't get decent wings anywhere on Sundays during football season without having to wade through a sea of beer swilling loudmouths. But really, what is this act of constantly wearing jerseys of your favorite player but a half-assed version of cosplay? Why is player statistic obsession any better than comic book knowledge obsession? It isn't. It's just that the majority of Americans have decided that even though the average fan displays obsessive and obnoxious behavior on part with, or in excess of, the average nerd, being a football fanatic ISN'T nerdy. Sure, they gather in large groups clad in costumes mimicking their favorite players. Sure, they pay fortunes online for memorabilia, "authentic" gear and tickets (not unlike the well-to-do geek who would shell out a grand for a limited edition She Hulk statue). Sure, they get irritated if you get the details of their obsession wrong (virtually the same reaction if you get the quarterback's team wrong as if you tell a nerd that Spock is your favorite Star Wars character). But that's not nerd-like behavior. Sure, it isn't.
Blog ‐ Page 3
Seeing as how I'm going to be doing a lot of these posts, I figured I would indulge myself. I am a compulsive listmaker. I LOVE listing my favorite things. And if I can't do it in my own blog where CAN I do it? Plus I'm full of dinner, ice cream and the richest brownie/candy bar cupcake known to man. So without further ado:
MY TOP TEN CHILDHOOD/TEENAGE YEARS CARTOON CHARACTER CRUSHES (Yes I know it's weird but I was young, CUT ME SOME SLACK!)
10- Gadget Hackwrench from Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers- Sure she was a mouse. And not real. But she was a nerdy mechanic. And she was awesome.
9- Rogue from X-Men- The brilliant 90's X-Men tv show had a lot going for it. Among them being a ridiculous number of characters and Rogue, the flying tight-pants wearing flying super-chick.
8- Jem from Jem- Yes, I watched this show. Even though I'm a male. The scariest thing is this: number 7 is ALSO from this show
7- The Misfits from Jem- The evil rival band on Jem. I honestly believe they were more truly outrageous than Jem
6- Scarlett from GI Joe- I love redheads. And this was a redhead with a crossbow who knew that 'knowing is half the battle'.
5- M'Ress from Star Trek: The Animated Series- I used to watch this in re-runs on Nickelodeon. You mix a cat lady with the short skirts of the original Star Trek series and VOILA!
4- April O'Neal from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- This one may have stemmed from just pure saturation of watching this show daily. I mean, really? A yellow jumpsuit?
3- Cheetarah from Thundercats- The only real blonde on the list. She also suffered from Smurfette Syndrome, being the only adult female of her species around.
2- Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?- Yeah, like many guys my age my voice dropped three octaves by the end of this movie. HOT!
1- The Baroness from GIJoe- Still my favorite. She was a black leather clad villain with an accent and big nerdy glasses.
Many of my blogs will begin with this line, 'As I get older…'
So as I get older I find that I am less and less susceptible to fads. Like many my age, I spent the 90's wearing flannel shirts which, while a fad, was an incredible COMFORTABLE fad. But as time went on I feel as if I just had little to no interest in fads. I've watched friends and associates cycle through fad after fad. From girls in giant multi-buckled boots and elastic hair extensions to the current steampunk fad which has many a hipster investing in top hats and goggles. Maybe I'm too stingy for fads. I've watched my roommate buy and abandon so many pieces of clothing, hair products and accessories that he could open a bizarre Salvation Army filled with wallpaper-esque leavings of his metrosexual phase and the remnants of his Captain Jack pirates phase. And now it's all brown and goggles and mad scientists.
Sure I'd like to join in the fun and be like everyone else but what will i do with all the stuff I buy when the forthcoming Giant Purple Teddy Bear Costume phase is over?
I'm too poor to be cool.
It's been a looong day and it's late and I am very tired. So I'm going to briefly mention that Martin Freeman (of the English Office and Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy) has been officially signed to play Bilbo in the upcoming Peter Jackson produced The Hobbit movies. This is perfect casting as Freeman has not only impeccible comic timing but an everyman quality sorely lacking in movies these days.
Also excited about the remake of True Grit.
Today's post is about something near and dear to my heart. Uno. I love this game, have since I was young. My love for Uno has only increased in recent years since I started playing it on X-Box Live. It's the first Arcade title I bought and I still play it. But while playing today I was reminded of what I DON'T like about it. So I'm going to school the few of you who read this so that you don't irritate your friends and loved ones when playing Uno with them.
I consider myself a decent Uno player. I have a modicum of strategy to my game. But when I play with people who have NO experience playing then their first instinct is to play all their face cards first. Because they have a draw two, draw four, skip or reverse they play those first because hey, it's more interesting than playing a number card right? The problem is this. By getting rid of all the face cards early (usually by dumping them on me) they don't save any for when the person to their left or right has Uno and is one card from victory. They have nothing but numbered cards to play instead of dropping a draw two on the opponent and keeping the game going. So essentially bad playing beats good playing. Which would seem like the bad playing was actually good playing and that the 'face cards first' approach was better. Except that playing that way rarely results in victory for the player who played the face cards. Bad players help each other win by being bad.
So that's my pet peeve with Uno, a game I love. Two other pet peeves (primarily with e-Uno) is players who don't pay attention to their opponents, only when it's their turn. So the person to the left of them can't play and so draws a card. They draw a Draw Four and play it. The person who wasn't paying attention challenges a DRAWN Draw Four. Dumb.
And lastly, play fast. Don't sit there making us wait while you skype with your dumb boyfriend or pose your Chia Pets in risque manner. Play fast!